it's raining! yet i am happy!!!!

It's Friday. Last day of long working week. And it's raining. I prefer to stay in bed and read Agatha Christie's didective stories. I can also sleep under the cover :) as long as I want err...I forgot my little boy. For sure, I can't be sleeping as long as I want but as long as my little boy wanted me to sleep.

Back to where I was, this morning I got an email and guest what the rain brought me? surprise! surprise! I was promoted! I got additional work to do yet exciting. It's a coveted chance, I guess. Having a chance to go abroad for work related, how that it sounds? Well, for me it's not a big deal, because I hate travelling! And I suffer too much from travelling. I have this timore that I could get lost and I hate jetlag. And there are times, that I am mistaken as a little girl. Oh literally, it's true the word 'little'. But not anymore girl but lady. Here comes again my insecurities...poor me..Oh poor me.

Well. My hard work and dedication paid this price. And I am happy of it :) A personal virtual trophy that exalts my heart and more debted as ever as always to the Lord.

To hit or not to hit...

wow! nice story! nice experience! and I am starting to 'produce' some ideas from my mind and thinking the right words to write....STOP!

Just like a situation where I am about to eat my second popsikol while having a diet and an angel come into my 'rescue' at the right second shouting 'SSTTTTOOPPPP!!!' . That's how I feel every I read blogs. I am shy, and I know it's not a big deal. Pero pati ba naman sa internet mahiyain pa ako, ano lang kung andyan na sa harapan ko. That's the first reason of 'STOP'. The second is unintentional, untimely, wrong situation, wrong place, a honest mistake....gaffes. That is the culprit. Sometimes, I have so much enthusiasm to write nice words but at the end the culprit comes in. I think I lost some acquaintance for it. Here are my gaffes (read as embarrasment) :

1. For my ignorance, I didn't know where is NJ, Jamaica.

2. She asked if I could save my child for her soon-to-be daughter, and I replied in a kidding manner 'Someone has been waiting for him. I can also take Waiting List!'

3. I wrote 'you have a nice daughter' where in fact, she has no daughter yet.

Conclusion: I lost contact. No one replied me back anymore.

I have always in mind to be extra careful when writing (as well as opening my mouth) specially to those acquaintances who know me least. Now, to hit or not hit...for the meantime I just enjoy reading, and i want to say something on that blog, I'll post it here :) para walang magrereklamo. :D

Biernes Santo

Kahit na mahal na araw dito ay may pasok pa rin di gaya sa Pinas na walang pasok ng ilang araw sa paggunita ng Semana Santa. Araw sana ng pagmuni-muni sa taong kagaya ko at sa iba nama'y araw ng pagre-relax.


Sa totoo lang, masakit ang aking sikmura dahil sa isang tao. Asar ako, pero inisip ko na Biernes Santo dapat magpakahinahon ako at huwag mag buntong hininga ng mabigat at kalmahin ang tono ng aking boses. Naasar ako kaya isusulat ko na lang dito ang aking pagka-asar. Ako ang taga-test ng fw dito, kaya alam ko kung bakit may mga iba't-ibang fw dahil na rin sa kinakailangan ng kliyente. At lahat naman ay pinapaalam ko sa aking bos. Ewan ko kung binabasa nya aking email o hindi. AT kung nagpapaliwanag ako, dito ko alam kung nakikinig sa akin o hindi. At ito ang aking kinaiinis at nakakainsulto. Pag kailangan nya ang tulong ko ay sunod agad ako dahil nga bos ko. May problema sa fw, sana naman tanungin muna nya ako kung me alam ako. Syempre, may nakakataas din na bos na dapat nyang tanungin. Naaasar ako. Wala akong ganang mag trabaho kasi nga bad trip ako. May mga tao naman kasing sabak ng sabak kahit di alam kung ano ang nilalagay eh. Sa bandang huli, ako ang may kasalanan. Syempre ayaw ko namang pangunahan sila, may tiwala naman akong alam nila ang ginagamit nilang fw. Mali pa ako pag kokontrahin sila.

May isa pa dyan, laging sinasabing may bug. Akala mo perpekto pag nagsalita. hmp! Gusto ba yung pag dumating sa mesa ko ay sya na ang uunahin, syempre dapat kong tapusin muna ang unang tao na dumating. Asar ako. hmp! Pag me problema naman tinatawagan ako. hmp.

hay buhay! isipin ko na lang si Jesus ay mas malaking sakripisyo ang ginawa para sa atin. period.

My first course to conduct

Next week, I'll be conducting my first course infront of our new clients. I heard they are from Greece. During one of the Pizza Days (only Fridays), my boss was telling to us that I'd be the one to conduct. here's our conversation:

boss: Don't you know that bing would conduct here first course.
me: you must be kidding (laughing). I can prepare the devices for you.
boss: Boss A sent an email to me, he suggested to have you because you speak well in English.
me: nobody told me (not yet believing and still laughing). you must be kidding!
boss: you can ask the marketing dept. they already knew that you're the one to conduct. We'll do together, don't worry.

'Don't worry' was true at the moment. Obviously I was surprised yet happy. From that noon, my mind was grilling on the 'content' of the course. I am not worried on the medium of speaking which I prefer, I am not fluent (in its meaning) in italian. There are times that my italian conversation is mixed with some tagalog/english/ilocano words! hehehe Anyway, I am able to express myself (thanks God!) and to be able to understand them. Now, I am thinking on the 'content', what to include on my 'blah..blah!'.

I have to work now.

My pendulum swings back and forth

I just wanted to write something, I just feel writing about anything. I don't have any idea or any topic at this moment. I have so many things to do but, I feel the urge inside me to write. These days I didn't receive any personal emails. I admit I was and (still) am not friendly. Accepting a one's waterloo is not easy. Anyway, to voice out what I wanted to say..err write I am admitting. I think I am getting insane if I am not writing this piece. I created a blog for me to 'burst out' what I have in my pendulum...err mind at the moment. What keep my little mind busy..not much like a dumb terminal. I have to 'point out' which is 'neuron' is not functioning at the moment. Maybe that nueron is focusing to the least important thing at the moment. My nuerons must unanimously focus to one goal.

A Saturday night without my little love

We have weekends to stay together, the three of us. On weekdays, we see each other at nights until morning. On Saturday night, I 'stay' with Gabriel, either we watch cartoon films on TV or 'read' his book. I stay on his bed until he fall asleep. Then Sunday morning, we take our breakfast together and sometimes, attend mass.

Last Saturday morning Gabriel wants to sleep with his nonni. We can't say no because it's very rare that he volunteers to do so. Besides that, his lola would like to bring him in the beach on summer for 15 days. So, it's better that he feel comfortable sleeping without me around.

My point here is, I missed my son. I missed his 'stories', I missed his kisses, I missed him asking me if I can go stay with him in his bed, I missed his hands caressing my hair. He's out for one night and one day, and I terribly missed him. He's growing fast and I can't do anything about it. I just wish not to miss any single seconds to be with him while he's still young.

Lost in translation (and gestures!)

When I was in fourth year high school, we had an English teacher who relates a story of Oddesey with gestures and facial expressions that made us help to understand and also not to fall asleep. Our English class starts at about 1.30PM a siesta time ;) For me, he was a great English teacher I ever had. I enjoyed the story very well, and I enjoyed how he described in detail that sometimes drove us to 'yell'.

Here at work, people are talking with 'hands'. Even talking over the telephone, the hands are moving with the lips and to complete the opera, some are walking back and forth. Honestly, it makes me dizzy. I believe that they use (unnoticingly) their hands to express themselves clearly. My boss explains technical matters with gestures, and draws or writes on the paper for me to understand. The gestures make me understand more. But NOT all the time. There are times I am 'carried away' with gestures rather than the spoken words. I concentrate more on the moving hands. I become 'deaf', I am concentrated with the gestures itself that I understand in other way, not what the person is trying to convey. And there are times that I use gestures that do not 'speak' of anything..hehehe.. Just imagine my spoken words contradict my gestures or vice versa. At this point, I cannot explain technical matters clearly. I am lost! And so they are lost too.

For me to verify if I got the message clearly, I summarize in my simple (vocabulary) words what I've heard and seen to the person whom I conversed with. And I ask the latter if that what he meant :)

Happy Women's Day

Mimosa flowers for all women out there!

When I arrived early at work this morning, so I decided to send my greetings all my female friends. Here in Italy, a mimosa flowers commemorates with the Women's Day. At night, some women leave their hubbies at home (bawal lumabas ang mga lalaki) and go to a club to enjoy ..hehehe...I never experience to go out alone. When I was at home, I was not familiar with this flower. So I was excited to receive my first bouquet of mimosa from my hubby, to my dismay, it's odorless and leaves stain on the clothes. From that moment, I told my hubby that it's enough for me to greet and kiss me on my cheek and that makes my feast day complete!

A colleague of mine never fails to give us mimosa flowers, I heard he has this plant on his yard and that he gathers them by himself. I bring home the flowers and offered them to my mini altar :)

Happy Women's Day!

Watching football on TV...

I was introduced with football world when I got married. No, it was not an obligatory but a choice for me to relax at the end of a tiring day. My hubby and I watch together infront of TV. I like watching football but not watching my hubby's fave team. I suffer very much if the game is tough to win. If both teams are playing their best. I suffer more when there are extra time given. I feel cold on my feet as well as my hands, my heart beats faster as if I am one of the players playing on the field. I become nervous! So this time (as I am writing this), I am 'away' from TV and from my husband because I don't want to suffer heartaches and frustrations. I don't care the excitement of missing a great goal, but I am interested to know who won the game ;)

What about you? Do you 'suffer' like me?

A 3-year old boy hurt his teacher..

Yesterday, I read this news. A boy threw a pair of shoes on his teacher, and bump his head againts the teacher's thigh, and he hit with his fists too! I was shocked thinking that at his age he is dangerous to other kids. They sent the teacher in the hospital. The head of the school called his mother and asked her to keep her son away from other kids in the school. And the boy's mother said he's ' troppo vivace' (too much frisky) and then she went to a police department to denounce the school. Shame on her!

I cannot blame the kid. I have to blame the parents who are tolerating such 'violent' actions of their son. A little boy/girl is 'troppo vivace' (frisky) but not to the extent of hurting others. I don't know if the child or his mother suffers a psychological disorder ;) Sometimes a child's behaviour reflects his home. I know for a fact that being a parent is not easy.

One of my memorable birthdays ...

It was my second year working here in the company. I started my day as usual: do the test and make a report even if I was emotionally feeling bad. In the morning, my colleagues greated me 'Happy Birthday' with kisses. Then in the afternoon about 5 o'clock,a bouquet of yellow flowers wrapped with a purple net was given to me and a message attached to it. I was surprised and I was touched by their thoughtfulness. Then, my boss brought out bottles of Champagne, some bread and some salame. He said he brought them for us to celebrate my birthday. We had 'cin-cin'! I learned that they contributed some money for the flowers. I was happy knowing that these people care for me and love to work with me. My insecurities at work were lessened, I had a feeling of belongingness.

I brought home the bouquet of flowers and showed it to my hubby. I put it in the vase and I watched at it intensely while thinking if I did something special during my stay in the company. I took some photos as my souvenir, I must say, as my personal pride. It boosts my self-esteem, I feel important, I feel loved. Each flowers got decayed but its memories flame like fire in my heart.